A Warlords Guide to Attacking Redwall
by Dragger115
Summary: <html><head></head>A few short lessons for new Warlords on attacking and defeating the Abbey of Redwall.</html>
1. Lesson 1

A Warlords Guide to Attacking Redwall.

So I suppose I should tell you why I'm writing this and the answers simple. BECAUSE IT IS ABSALOUTLY REDICULOUS THAT NO VERMIN WARLORD HAS EVER MANAGED TO TAKE THE ABBEY OF REDWALL.

Okay so now that we have that out of the way I must confess, I will never be the one to eventually take the abbey so my hope is that one day a young warlord with fire in his blood and at least some brains will eventually read my book and follow its simple lessons.

First off, my name is Redflash and my book has few very simple lessons (as you should know by now) that any warlord should follow if he has any hope to of taking the Abbey of Redwall.

Please note: These lessons will be mostly directed towards Redwall itself and not other targets that you might have.

Lesson One: Army Creation.

Okay so as every vermin warlord, chief, king, or leader knows, to take anything from woodlanders of any kind, you need some followers. This step seems simple, however creating your army is going to require a lot of effort on your part.

Step One: Find Willing Members.

If you are planning on dragging unwilling creatures into your service please have at least a few willing members. Unwilling beast have a way of backstabbing new leaders. Pressing someone into service isn't going to give you their full potential and they will be less willing to die for you. Whereas volunteers will be more useful.

Please note: that if you plan on taking Redwall you will have to use some unwilling soldiers, there just isn't enough willing vermin.

When getting soldiers its best to either offer them rich rewards and life like a king. Now realistically you will not be able to do this however the vermin you manage to scrape up around Mossflower are not going to be the smartest things in the world. Therefor you do not have to give them everything you promise. (You may have to give some of the loot to your soldiers but only to the ones that really proved themselves in battle. If you tell them this before an attack it might improve your chances of victory.)

Another way to find volunteers for your army/horde is to have a seer or some magical creature (usually a vixen) do a few magic tricks for them. I will admit finding a seer or some magical beast will be absurdly difficult, so you may have to do with someone that's good at acting and tricks.

Please note: Magical beast and seers are extremely rare and usually flawed I will talk more about these in a later lesson.

Anyway use your trickster to fool the not-so smart-vermin into joining your army/horde.

Step Two: Military Training.

To begin your military campaign with your new army you need to at least show them how to hold their weapons. During your recruitment stage you may find several trained warriors. Unfortunately this is usually not the case. So it falls to you to at least train them in a few simple techniques of the military ways.

Please note: Woodlanders have a tendency to be incredibly overpowered and more often than not be able to defeat your soldiers in a one-on-one engagement. I will go over this more in a later lesson.

When training your new troops be careful not to tell them they are hopeless, incompetent or pathetic. These types of insults could seriously damage their self-confidence which can threaten your chances of victory. When insulting your troops use more motivating words like. "I've seen butterflies lift more than that." Or "Run faster or you'll end up dead." These have a much more motivating effect then. "Your useless toad guts, you're a bunch of pathetic worm ridden stumps, you incompetent lay about."

Please note: Once your army/horde has been established and trained you can use these insults.

While training your soldiers need adequate rest and food and also supplies to train with. Though the training faze is short it is a mandatory step for success.

Step Three: Supplying your Army.

Now that your army/horde knows how to use weapons slightly, it's time to find some gear for your troops. This step can be particularly difficult, some of the vermin you find may have arms on them already. Most likely this will not be the case, and as good as wooden sticks are you're going to need some real weaponry.

The best thing to do is send some scouts to find some random swords smith's home and take everything he has. As I said before this step can be difficult but possible.

Please note: Make sure you have a large force when attacking random sword smith's, they usually know how to use their creations.

When you have a large supply of weaponry, you will have to pass it out to your soldiers. Be careful when doing this more soldiers die from having the wrong weapon than any other way. Likewise make sure your officers have the best gear. IT IS ABSALUTLY MANDATROY YOUR OFFICERS SURVIVE. If your soldiers see their leader fall it will be demoralizing to the extreme. It will hurt your chances of victory massively, more vermin warlords have been defeated then I care to mention because all their officers died leaving them as the only leadership.

Step Four: Choosing Officers.

This is a very delicate matter because you don't want complete idiots leading your troops but you don't want to give power to someone who's going to backstab you. Your best choice is a mixture of courage and intellect, with all the creatures you've collected for your army/horde there should be at least three or four among the lot that have those qualities.

Once you have chosen several good hardworking vermin that are loyal to you for officers give them troops to be used at their disposal. No more than a hundred per officer, more than that can be overwhelming.

Please note: Make sure your officers do not overly abuse their rank, this can be dangerous for you. Beasts that abuse their position in your army/horde can grow confident enough to betray you and take command themselves.

Under your head command officers can be your junior command. For this position find brave skilled fighters that will lead the charge against the enemy. This officer is also mandatory but more replaceable, their chances of dying are extremely high (Make sure they do not know this.) so be sure you have a couple lined up. There should be one for every twenty to thirty soldiers at least, their job is simple. Take immediate command of their platoon and lead the charge.

Step Five: Finial Organization.

Once you've completed the first four steps to army creation you will have your finished army ready to fight and die at your command. Now you need a target, this is important you need to find a small innocent settlement to completely crush and destroy (Make sure a few survivors escape to spread the tale of your powerful horde) this is necessary so you can see how your troops and officers work in battle/slaughter, plus it boosts your soldiers confidence. If you try to hit a large target such as Redwall first, your fresh army will be annihilated by their senior warriors. Your troops will not be ready nor will you know how to lead them.

Good targets to hit first are small vermin bands, tiny woodland settlements and swamps full of fat toads.

Please note: The last suggested target can be incredibly risky make sure your confident in your army/horde before you perform such a task.

Repeat all five steps of lesson one in till you have a massive army/horde and feel ready to take on Redwall. After that there is only one step left to finish army creation.

Step Six: Name your Army.

This step is not as necessary as the others however it can be used as a legacy of power. So it is important not to name your army something unthreatening. The Bunneychoppers just isn't going to cut it. No beast is going to be afraid of the Bunneychoppers (except bunnies maybe) a good threatening name should have words like fire or claw in it.

Please note: In some instances it might be better to not name your army/horde, but names are cool so do it anyway.

So if you follow these six simple steps from lesson one you will have created a fearsome army/horde ready to take on even Redwall.


	2. Lesson 2

A Warlords Guide to Attacking Redwall.

Ah ha, so if you are reading this lesson you may be actually serious about taking the Abbey. If not why are you reading this? Perhaps to know your enemy better? Maybe you're a woodlander trying to find out vermin strategies, if this is so I can only say is.

"Grr cleaver woodlanders!"

For those of you who read this for the actual tips on capturing Redwall I would suggest you keep these writing away from those fiendish good beasts, most of which can read and will use these tactics against you.

So without further ado, my name it Redflash and this is a few quick lessons on how to defeat Redwall Abbey.

Lesson One: Knowing your Enemy.

This lesson will not be covering actual steps on how to defeat Redwall itself, but the individual creatures inside. Because woodlanders have so many natural perks it would be a good idea to read though this so you can understand them fully. Understandably you may already know about most of these perks, but do you know how to defeat them? This information is what this lesson covers so I hope you pay attention.

Item One: Mice-Danger scale 4/10

Mice are admirable in several aspects but are short in stature and weak raw in strength. In Redwall itself you will rarely find mice using actual weaponry, this does not mean underestimate them. Mice are extremely cleaver as a rule and will come up with the most absurd ways of defeating your army/horde. If you ever do manage to challenge Redwall you will find lots of mice to great you. And most importantly DO NOT BELIEVE THEM WHEN THEY SAY THEY ARE PEACEFUL, because they're not. They will fight you just as ferociously as the next defender. However with all of this in mind they may be the easiest fighter to defeat.

Please note: In the case of easiest make note of the may, several ferocious mouse warriors have been noted throughout history.

Item Two: Squirrels-Danger scale 6/10

Of all the dangerous defenders there are, squirrels are the most fiendish little tricksters around. With the ability to bounce though trees and with natural good vision, they make the most dangerous guerilla combat force. (With close runner ups being the otters.) Whatever squirrels lack in raw strength they make up for in speed, one of the fastest on land and trees they are very naturally gifted in forests. They will generally be using short bows or light weaponry (Daggers, short swords and such) making them capable of sudden lightning attacks. With all my research on squirrels your best chances of fighting them will be in clearing away from trees or out in the open. There most of their natural strengths will be diminished. When fighting at Redwall itself they will be diminished in combat with no trees to hide in, and you will be sure to find several at Redwall.

Please note: Squirrels would be best fought in melee combat rather than ranged.

Item Three: Moles-Danger scale 2/10

Moles, ha you might as well forget about them, even though some could be trained warriors most are really just strong. Even though they may be hard workers and be able to dig extremely well, their only possible involvement in battle is they could be spy's which they could do very well. If you are combating moles be sure not to doubt their courage and resolve (Those digging claws can really pack a punch.) but you will usually be able to defeat them easily.

Along with their natural digging ability moles can hear vibrations though the earth. Which means digging a tunnel under the abbey will be nothing more than a trivial waste of time. If you try that with moles around you will get something unpleasant poured on your head.

Item Four: Otters-Danger scale 7/10

Otters, okay so if moles were the joke of Redwalls defense otters make it up tenfold. I may have given them a higher rating however they tend to use non-threatening weaponry (Slings, stones, and javelins.) to combat your forces. They can swim like fish, attack with sudden ferocity, deal out heavy blows and are nearly as good as squirrels at guerrilla warfare. There's usually a whole crew of them at Redwall. Besides badgers and some hares they are the most dangerous defenders you will come across at Redwall. When combating otters hit from all sides, DO NOT RUSH THEM. Otters use duel pointed javelins, these can be used to affectively fight several enemies at once. I would suggest using long spears and ranged weaponry when fighting otters.

Item Five: Hedgehogs-Danger scale 5/10

Otters may be strong and squirrels may be fast, but hedgehogs have crazy spikes sticking out of them. With only one natural perk that whether it's strange or not is extremely effective at protecting them. Hedgehogs use a wide variety of weapons from war hammers to battle pikes. Most hedgehogs you may fight will be strong if not necessarily quick. Suggested weaponry to use against them is long spears. Swords can be used, but they only have an effect if it is a straight thrust. You are bound to find several at Redwall defending the walls.

Please note: Strangely arrows seem to have a minimal effect against hedgehogs.

Item Six: Shrews-Danger scale 5/10

Tiny though they may be, they are dangerous fighters and warriors to be reckoned with. Commonly using rapiers and slings they are effective in groups. Your soldiers may make the mistake of taking on shrews over other possible targets. With a ferocity not seen in most other species they will chop and slice you soldiers to ribbons if given half the chance. Heavy swords and axes are suggested to fight these little demons. At Redwall you may not find any shrews but it is possible, one group that is especially friendly with Redwall is the Guosim I am not sure what their travel direction is or the rarity of their visits to Redwall, it is a good timing thing I suppose.

Item Seven: Hares-Danger scale 8/10

Experts at just about everything hares are without a doubt one of your more fearsome opponents.

Please note: Certain hare are jokes but still manage to be dangerous warriors.

Hares often visit the abbey under the banner of the Long Patrol, skilled in all types of combat and extremely dangerous archers, faster than even a squirrel and with the annoying ability of disappearing at random (I believe they are masters at camouflage.) You will have your work cut out for you if there are hares at Redwall. Other than this there is not much more to be said about hares. I would suggest attacking them with ranged forces and with fast long swords.

Item Eight: Badgers-Danger scale 11/10

The danger scale is not joking, when I weighed their skills and strength they came out higher than the max. What does this show? THAT BADGERS ARE ABSALOUTLY INSANE. Even blind old ones are dangerous fighters. If there happens to be a badger at Redwall when you make your attack be ready to have a long bloody fight ahead of you, if there's a badger lord from Salamandastron at Redwall when you make your assault give up and go hide (Not that you will be able to.) because you will not be taking Redwall with one of them around.

However if you do find Redwall without a badger lord continue your assault with all haste. Because there may be one soon.

You may be asking how do I kill a badger, and the answers simple. ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK, that's really the only way to bring one down. Maybe you could try to take off all its paws or its head, both of which will be no easy task, even a badger without a head may keep killing, and I don't think it's ever been done before. One trick you could try is trapping it under a large thick canvas, which might work. Whatever you do stay out of its way because it might be coming for you. (We will talk more about warlord targeting in a later lesson.)

Badgers though may be a serious problem in your campaign and I would suggest dealing with them accordingly. A little poison could go a long way.

Item Nine: Other assorted woodlanders.

During your war you may run into other creatures that wish to hurt your cause. When dealing with them give the same amount of caution you would any defender of Redwall.

Please note: Most woodlanders will flock to help Redwall not many will support your cause.


End file.
